Shut Up & Say Thank You

Leadership coach Sabina Nawaz recently wrote that managers should flex their “shut up muscles.” Her point is simple: great leaders listen more than they talk. Listening builds trust, empathy, and connection across a team.

At the Esteemed MBA of Leadership & Management, we teach the same principle, though we define it this way: the greatest gift you can give someone is the feeling of being heard.

That’s where active listening comes in. Real listening is not passive. It requires effort. It means looking your direct in the eye, squaring your shoulders, and resisting the urge to think about your response while they are speaking. Instead, you focus on asking the next question. Active listening is really active probing: What more can I learn? What else do they want to share? What’s underneath the surface? Done well, it’s not easy. It’s actually exhausting.

This philosophy also connects to the very first book we read in the Esteemed MBA: What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith. Of the 20 bad management habits Goldsmith identifies, more than half can be avoided by simply keeping quiet and saying two simple words: thank you.

When leaders overtalk, they fall into traps — speaking in anger, adding unnecessary value, interrupting, or simply not listening. Silence and gratitude, on the other hand, create space for trust, clarity, and growth.

So as we step deeper into the practice of leadership, let’s commit to flexing our shut up muscle. Keep quiet. Listen intently. And when the time comes to respond, start with the words every employee wants to hear: thank you.

Be Esteemed.