Your Love and Exclamation Points Are the Problem

Everyone’s afraid of the car dealer.

You know the type — the big smile, the “What can I do to get you in this brand new Toyota today?” energy. It’s the Joe Isuzu syndrome: over the top enthusiasm that triggers every human defense mechanism.

You can feel it: the cringe, the shields going up, your instinct to escape. That’s not cynicism. That’s biology. You’re just being human.

Now, open your LinkedIn inbox. You’ll see the same thing happening digitally.

“Great to connect!!!”
“I’d LOVE to grab coffee with you!!!”
“Our firm would be thrilled to bring value to your team!!!”

Different medium, same reaction: cringe, shield, delete.

If your outreach looks like this, your kindness, excitement, and enthusiasm, while genuine, are working against you. You’re unintentionally triggering the human brain’s “ignore” reflex.

We are hardwired to detect inauthenticity in milliseconds. When someone’s tone, words, or energy don’t match context, our minds tag it as unsafe and tune it out.

Let’s be real.
You don’t love a stranger.
You might be interested, curious, maybe even fascinated, but not in love. And the moment you say you are, your message stops being believable.

So how do we fix it? How do we communicate like humans again?

Four Rules of Human Outreach

1. Use Disarming Language.
Flip the script. Instead of “How can I get you into a new Toyota today?”, imagine the dealer saying:

“I have no idea if you’re even in the market for a car. I just happen to know a lot about Toyotas. If you have a question, I’ll be right here.”

That tone relaxes people. It signals honesty.

Try phrases like:

“I don’t know.”
“We’ve never met.”
“Something might have changed.”

These are tension diffusers. They tell the reader you’re safe and worth engaging.

2. Tell the Truth.
Skip the salesy assumptions (“My team can help yours…”).
Say something simple:

“My firm works with companies like yours to [specific value].”

That phrasing tells a truth, not a pitch. It creates space for conversation rather than a defensive reaction.

3. Offer an Easy Yes.
“Let’s connect sometime” sounds like a commitment trap.
Instead, lower the friction:

“Would you be open to a 10 minute call?”
“How about a quick 30 cup of coffee next week?”

Small yeses lead to real conversations.

4. Always Make No an Option.
When you give someone permission to say no, you give them permission to trust you.

“If this isn’t a priority right now, that’s perfectly fine.”

It shifts the power dynamic from seller versus buyer to equals in a conversation.

Listen, nobody loves love more than we do. Love is good. Love is essential. But keep the love and exclamation points out of your first message.

If you want a response, speak human. Not hype. Not sales voice.

Human. Equal. Intent led.

That’s how you start real conversations and revive the ones that have gone silent.